AT LONG LAST, QUEEN ELIZABETH GETS AN IPOD

Is she listening to Queen?
“Bohemian Rhapsody”
“Fat-Bottomed Girls?”

Why do I have this image of her standing in her royal nightgown,
back to a seventeenth-century full length French mirror,
royal rump shaking to an unheard beat,
then a pivot
and her wide-eyed face, crown askew
right hand in the air
as she shrieks an a capella:

“She's a killer….QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
gunpowder! gelatine!
Dynamite with a laser beam!
Guaranteed to blow your mind!”

Perhaps I'm being unfair. Maybe she listens to Bach, Williams, Vivaldi.
Or maybe books on tape…
No time for the monarch to make it through the latest Harry Potter…

But why not at least some Beatles? What could be more British?

“I'd like to be, under the sea, in a octopuses garden with Hugh (Grant that is, hee hee)”

Some have suggested that the young princes might have hooked her up.
Some hot hiphop and dance MP3s.
But I'm pretty sure she doesn't listen to most of them, except maybe Queen Latifah.
(Pimp-walkin' through her ceremonial events with “Mama Gave Birth to the Soul Children” pumping under her tiara.)

And during a particularly dull event in the royal spectator box, why not liven things up with the Cajun rhythms of Queen Ida?

Speculation is pointless, of course.
We will never know exactly what's on the playlist of the Throne of England.
Except,
Come on…I think we all can agree,
that somewhere on there,
very likely in the top five songs in rotation
is the monster rock hit of a group of kids from another Northern European country:

“You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen!!! !”

JD Frey – June 21, 2005